Down the Rabbit Hole.

Worthless.
Pathectic.
Not enough.
Nothing...

At least half the time that's exactly how I feel about myself lately...

There are moments of happiness followed by moments of self doubt.
The more I try to build myself the harder it becomes to stay that high.
Constanlty being knocked down.
I'm plagued by horrible thoughts and doubt and regrets.
It seems nothing can keep my up.
I'm spiraling further and further down.
So much weight on my shoulders.
A million pounds.
I'm trapped under it.

I love my fiance and my friends and,I wouldn't trade them for anything. They are there for me when I need them.
And yet it doesn't seem like it's enough.

I can't get out.

Quarter Life Crisis

Yep. Pretty that's what I'm going though right now.
I'm 26. I work over 40 hours a week for just over $10 an hour. I make just enough money to cover my gas and monthly bills, with about $3 left over. I'm getting married next year and I would love to move into our own place. Right now we are staying at his parents house. But I can't afford it and he works construction, so some weeks he doesn't have work. I'm buying my car. That's about all I have to show for all the work I do.
Doesn't that just suck? I have no idea what I would like to do with my life. I didn't finish college because it got too expensive and now I have student loans I can't pay for.
I'm stuck. In a rut. With no way out.
I need to figure out what my ladder is so I climb out of this successful.