Manic.

Wake up, I'm okay.
Get dressed, I'm okay.
Drive to work, I'm okay.
Get to work, I'm okay.
Hour into work, suddenly not okay.
10 minutes later, even, less okay.

Wind up, wind up, wind up.
Like a child's toy.
I'm suddenly very much not okay.
Wind up, wind up, wind up.

Don't be stupid.
Don't lose your cool.
Where did this come from?
Who will get the brunt of this sudden destructive anger?

I need to scream.
Wind up, wind up, wind up.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Where is a punching bag when I need one?

Wind up, wind up, wind up.
Wait.
Wind down, wind down, wind down.
Suddenly it's going away.

Wind down, wind down, wind down.
Sigh in relief.
Its gone.

What the hell was that?
And why does it keep happening?

Neurotic.

Yep. That's me.
It amazes me how quickly my moods can change(it's no picnic for my fiance either, poor guy).
One minute I love every one and everything and life is amazing and then BAM!!!!
Next minute I literally want to punch everyone in the face.
Or cry.
Depends on the day. 
I'm crazy and neurotic. That's that. 
I always seem to come up the worst case scenario when I'm in the anger phase. My boyfriend is cheating on me. Someone committed suicide or got in a fatal accident. 
Or I just want to hug every one and tell them how much I love them. All these moods in me all the time flipping back and forth from one to the other in a matter of seconds. 
Let me tell you, it's exhausting. I feel like I ran a marathon, when in reality it was all in my head. 
And I have no idea how to stop it.
Am I bipolar? Maybe I'm just crazy....
Who knows, but...
What the hell is wrong with me?